


Together

by goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Romance, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams vs. Reality, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Falling In Love, Foreplay, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Inspired by Dreams, Inspired by Real Events, Intimacy, Kissing, Love/Hate, Poetry, Regret, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 08:46:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20618234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople/pseuds/goodpersonwithafetishforevilpeople
Summary: I wrote this poem almost exactly two years ago in the immediate aftermath of a heartbreak. The man in this poem has seen the poem and knows that it's about him. I often miss him as much as I wish that I had never met him. He is both my biggest mistake and my most prolific muse, for he largely inspired a novel that I'm writing, as well. The novel is nowhere close to being finished, however. In the meantime, since I'm sick with a terrible cold and have been very busy with school, which is progressing at a very fast pace even this early in the term, enjoy this poem that I've chosen to share since I haven't finished my fic by my self-imposed weekly deadline ☺ Hopefully it will be up next Thursday 😉





	Together

When I was with you I smiled  
I laughed in maudlin mirth  
I moaned in ecstasy  
But what was it all worth?

When you left the laugh lines softened  
I cried, you lied, I cried  
Again and again  
And I tried to forget you, I tried

But you never saw what you did to me  
I was just a willing slut  
No emotions, no attachment, no past  
Not a person, just a representation of lust

You weren't hurting anyone who could be hurt  
Well, your reality was different from mine  
I was holding out hope for someone who was always human to me  
But didn't realize that to him I was just a whore that never cost a dime

My brain did a simple, beautiful thing the other night  
While I wasn't in conscious control  
It blended together our two realities  
And in a harsh way, made clear your role

We were lying on my bed, as we've often done  
Being friends instead of lovers  
Holding hands and stroking fingers  
Because you belonged to another

Then your lips found my neck  
And I began to cry  
Because I didn't want to love it  
And in the dream, you didn't stop or ask why

You just kept kissing me  
You started undoing the buttons on my shirt  
I left you all the power  
You left me all the hurt

I asked brokenly, "What is this?" even though I knew  
And you knew what I meant  
But brushed it off and answered, "It's foreplay"  
And off the rest of my clothing went

And that wasn't a nightmare  
I loved that dream...  
I can't see you ever literally doing that  
Because I know you'd never want to see

You'd never want to see that that is what you do  
When I'm in tears when you're not here  
And you're in me, my body, my heart  
You ignore my pain, my hate, my fear

You use me anyway  
Because I let you  
And I let you because I loved you  
When years ago I never should have met you


End file.
